


they say you go blind, maybe it's true

by nosecoffee



Series: my junk is you [11]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: 7/11, 80's Movies, Butterfly Nets, Comedy, Dialogue-Only Challenge, Domestic, F/M, Family, Fluff, Hospitalisation, Hunour, Krispy Kreme's, Lindt Chocolate, Live-Chatting, M/M, Mothman, Vague Texting AU, break-ups, slurpees, some minor angst, waiters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 11:02:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9488252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nosecoffee/pseuds/nosecoffee
Summary: Thomas: how many aloe Vera plants are too many?James: one, you hipster piece of shit. If you want a house plant get a fern, I refuse to have cacti or succulents in my house unless they have spikesThomas: I honestly love you





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title from 'My Junk' from Spring Awakening
> 
> This had to happen and I can only blame myself
> 
> One to go!!!!

"Look, I've heard you yell a whole lot of weird shit in the time that you've been playing this game but 'OBI WAN KENOPIE CAN SUCK MY ASS FOR MURDERING ME LAST NIGHT, THAT FUCKING PRICK' is probably my favourite."

"Leave me alone, that round was intense."

~

Peggy: hey, can I drop by your house?

Angelica: uh sure why

Peggy: no reason, no reason, I just miss you

Angelica: 1) you saw me in the supermarket this morning, with James, and you yelled 'Angie, darling!' in a British accent, so I'm not inclined to believe you

Angelica: 2) bullshit, you miss me

Angelica: 3) you only say 'no reason, no reason' when there's definitely a reason, and your devastated about something

Peggy: solid points, 10/10 detective work

Angelica: what's the reason

Peggy: hang on, Stephen's just dropping me off

Angelica: oh

Peggy: do you have ice cream

Angelica: you can have my whole freezer

~  
Angelica: MAYDAY MAYDAY RED ALERT

Alex: WHAT

Eliza: IM UP

Hercules: Eliza kicked me off the bed what's up

Angelica: STEPHEN (Mighty Dicks Man) DUMPED PEGGY I NEED ALL HANDS ON DECK I NEED SHREK, BEE MOVIE, AND ANY ADAM SANDLER MOVIE EVER MADE, AS WELL AS THE MOST SUGAR FILLED SNACKS YOU CAN COME UP WITH

Alex: I JUST DUG THE BEE MOVIE UP FROM UNDER MY BED, AARON'S SO CONFUSED, IM OMW

Eliza: I'm already in a cab

~

"Can you tell me why it happened?"

"He needed something steady for his daughter, and I wasn't pulling it. I didn't - fuck - I didn't fit the picture. He was really kind about it."

"Doesn't change that he's a prick."

"Alex-"

"I'm just saying, Eliza! Any dude that plays the Family Portrait card isn't good enough for her."

"No, no, there's nothing against him. It's fine. I'm not-"

"Don't get tears in your ice cream, it melts it faster, sweetheart."

"Where did you even get gumdrop ice cream at eleven pm?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out at some point."

"Fair."

~

{Angel.SC @Angel.Schuy anyone who hurts my little sister can fuCKING FIGHT ME}  
|  
|  
{E.Schuy @LizzieSchuy @Angel.Schuy stop vague-tweeting, and watch the Bee Movie}  
|  
|  
{Angel.SC @Angel.Schuy @LizzieSchuy just go ahead and expose my meme-loving-ass why don't you}

~

"Where's Angelica? Wasn't she supposed to come over tonight?"

"How drunk are you, right now?"

"I just went through Alex's Twitter account to laugh at him and ended up losing it at his and Aaron's choko conversation."

"Drunk enough, apparently. I'll text her."

~

James: where are you? We were gonna watch a pirated copy of Rogue One tonight and you're super late, Thomas is already drunk

Angelica: I'm not coming, sorry, family emergency

James: are you okay?

Angelica: I'm fine. Peggy's boyfriend broke up with her and she's never been good at break ups

James: I'm hauling Thomas down to the corner store, what kind of Lindt does she like?

Angelica: sea salt caramel

James: omw

Angelica: with drunk Thomas?

James: he's surprisingly, dumbly nice when he's intoxicated

Angelica: Alex might still snap

James: Thomas would kiss him

Angelica: definitely bring him. if anything, drunk Thomas kissing angry Alex would make Peggy lose her shit

~

"Why is everyone so nice to me?"

"'Cause they love you?"

"Can we have an eighties movie marathon?"

"Name the movies."

"Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Soapdish, and Dirty Dancing."

"In that order?"

"Yep. Have a Lindt Ball."

~

John: okay, okay, but

Alex: what it is actually four am I need to sleep to l i v e

John: I'm older than you, shut up

John: anyway

John: what if the Von Trap Family didn't sing

Alex: oh god

John: what if they did stand up comedy

Alex: John no

John: The Von Trap Family Zingers

Alex: oh my fucking God

John: the running gag is "so, how 'bout them Nazi's?"

Alex: JOHN I SWEAR TO G O D

~

John: I wanna tell you a joke, you've seen Sound of Music right?

John: where are you?

Lafayette: don't freak out

John: oh no

Lafayette: but I'm at the hospital

Lafayette: with Frances

John: what the fuck happened

Lafayette: she hasn't actually told me yet, but I heard her scream and a loud thudding noise when I was making dinner and I walked into her room and she was holding her arms against her chest, her hands all floppy, and turned to me, saying, "the Tyrannosaurus rex was the most feared of all dinosaurs" and burst into tears

John: my daughter is so funny, what hospital, I'm omw

~

"Can you tell me what happened, sweetie?"

"I fell off my loft bed. Put my hands out to stop my fall."

"Why did you fall?"

"There was a moth."

~

{J.Laur @J.LaurensOfficial Mothman is REAL my daughter saw him and fell off her bed #mothman}

~

"Being eight months pregnant is not as fun as it seems."

"Considering the fact that you just quoted Bo Burnham in line at Chipotle, and then burst into tears because you were afraid the server wouldn't get it and you didn't want to be rude, I don't doubt it."

"You have a solid point there."

~

Thomas: how many aloe Vera plants are too many?

James: one, you hipster piece of shit. If you want a house plant get a fern, I refuse to have cacti or succulents in my house unless they have spikes

Thomas: I honestly love you

~

Alex: So my real question is, how do you politely turn down food from a waiter? You just can't do it. It doesn't happen.

Aaron: Where are you?

Alex: I'm at a fancy dress party.

~

"Holy shit."

"Ma'am, are you alright?"

"I think I spilt my Slurpee, gimme a sec. Do you have napkins?"

"Yes, we do. Hold on. Here."

"Thanks. It's all over the floor. And a little on my pants. Hold on..."

"Ma'am?"

"Oh crap."

"Is everything alright?"

"My water just broke."

~

Alex: There is no way to act cool while accidentally starting a conversation with a waiter and then telling them that you hate the thing that they're trying to serve you. It's terrible. It's the worst.

Aaron: I have a feeling you're not mingling enough at this party of yours

Alex: I'm mingling, bitch, just with the wrong crowd, I don't think they were expecting me to strike up conversations with the waiters

Aaron: I don't think they were, either

Alex: I'm just too unexpected

~

"Angie?"

"Eliza? What are you doing up at this time of night?"

"I went to get my doughnuts, and my water broke."

"Oh my god, really?"

"Yeah. Little Angelica's on her way."

"But her due date's a month away!"

"Yeah. That's a little troubling but I'm sure everything will be fine. The cashier at 7/11 - sorry, what's your name, pal? - Bellamy is being really calm for me, which is great, because I just made his shift a lot more interesting."

"What can I do to help?"

"Call mom and dad, I'll call Peggy. Head to the hospital Frances went to. John's already there with her, so there won't be too much fuss in getting ahold of him."

"Okay. I love you, Eliza."

"Love you too, Angie. I'll see you."

~

Alex: I keep looking at this one waiter and thinking, 'dear god, somebody take his caramelised onion tarts so he can leave'. He looks deflated.

Aaron: Why aren't you talking to the other people at the party?

Alex: I am, I'm just a little more focused on the waiters.

Aaron: Wtf whatever

~

"Hey, Pegs?"

"Whassup?"

"Baby's on the way."

"I'm up! I'm about to be an aunt again?"

"Yeah."

"She's just too excited to meet the world, ain't she?"

"That she is."

"Same hospital as Frances?"

"Yep. Ambulance just pulled up. I'm gonna call Aaron, and see how that goes."

"Okay. See you there, Lizzie."

~

Alex: One of the waiters I've been rejecting all night just told me what's coming up next and honestly that was so nice, I feel so bad. I don't want to hurt her.

Aaron: Who's party are you even at?

Alex: One of John's old boyfriends. I was going as John's plus-one but then Frances broke her wrists and Laf had to stay late to work so I'm here on my own amongst British people and the waiters seem to be the only people from New York here

Aaron: Why didn't I hear about this before?

Alex: It didn't really come up but I thought you'd notice when I bought a giant blue butterfly net while grocery shopping

Aaron: I guess I'm a little more unobservant than I thought

~

"Is there anybody you should call?"

"I've already called my sisters, and Aaron, and Laf. I should call Alex too. Probably George and Martha. Maybe James and Thomas?"

"Call who you need, ma'am."

"Thanks, dude. You're the real MVP."

"Just doing my job, ma'am."

~

Alex: I was eating some salt and pepper squid and the lady with the party pies looked so betrayed

Aaron: honestly, you're ridiculous

Alex: that's what you think

~

"Hey Herc, it's me, Eliza."

"I know. I have caller ID. You know that right?"

"Right. Okay, don't freak out, you know how I went to get doughnuts at 7/11?"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, well, I thought the Slurpee machine must've spilt something on me, but as it turns out, the cramps I've been having were for a reason and my water broke while I was tryna get a Slurpee."

"Oh my god, are you okay?"

"Premature labour? Yeah, I'm fine. I got watermelon Slurpee and a deluxe pack of Krispy Kreme's. I'm set."

"Are you still there?"

"They're driving me to the hospital right now."

"Alright, I'm on my way."

~

Alex: *Video Attachment*

Aaron: and you thought a video of you dancing to If You Wanna Be My Lover by the Spice Girls would be helpful how?

Alex: c'mon I'm adorable and you know it

Aaron: Eliza's gone into labour

Alex: but she's a month from the due date

Aaron: I don't know why, Herc just said that the ambulance came and they're on their way to the hospital. Can you leave the party?

Alex: I need to say goodbye to Francis and then I'll be omw

Aaron: who's Francis?

Alex: John's ex/Birthday Dude

Aaron: okay, she's at the same hospital as Frances so

Alex: got it, be there soon

Aaron: love you

Alex: love you too

~

Lafayette: Eliza said I'm gonna be a godfather!

John: are you doing your 'I'm happy' dance?

Lafayette: yep. Are you oyw?

John: yessir

Lafayette: Frances's excited

John: I'll bet

Lafayette: what's the story with Philip and Theo?

John: Theo's coming along with Aaron and Philip's coming along with Herc

Lafayette: are a seven year-old and an eight year-old a good idea in a hospital in the middle of the night?

John: who knows? Maybe they'll all fall asleep in Frances's bed and be cute and we can take cute pictures?

Lafayette: you have some good ideas

John: tru

~

"Did you know that Diego Luna was in Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights? It's so funny, really-"

"You're in the middle of a premature labour and you're taking about Diego Luna and his questionable movie roles?"

"Sh, Herc, this is why you married me."

"I don't think I did marry you for random Diego Luna facts at weird times."

"It's one of the reasons, that's for sure. It's on the list."

"I'm sure it is sweetie. Should I get the doctor?"

"Please. She's ready to make her appearance, I think."

"I'm on it."

~

{Herc.M @H.Mull the bb's coming a lil early but the doctors r confident that everything's fine. So proud of @LizzieSchuy}

~

"You're not going to be able to drum for a while, are you?"

"Not drastically, no. It's alright, it'll give us more time to think up a band name, this way."

"I still say Glitter on Dog Turds is a good name."

"Philip, the minute there's 'Dog Turds' in the name, I'm out."

"Fair. You got a better name?"

"Volkswagen Butterfly."

"Actually that's pretty great. Where did you get that, Frances?"

"Just an idea I got from a weird dream I had after falling asleep watching Yellow Submarine."

~

"She's here."

  
Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this. If you did, please feel free to leave a comment and/or kudos, and track me down on Tumblr @nose-coffee.
> 
> Some notes: I credit my sister for the Sound Of Music joke, although the running gag joke was me.
> 
> Again, thank you, and I hope you enjoy the final installment, whenever I get around to posting it! Bye!


End file.
